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Buried Alone (seed)

from Transient by shakusky.

/

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Yesterday morning it started to snow and it snowed throughout the night and all this morning and it is still snowing and I don’t think it will stop at any point soon. I want to lay in it and watch each flake fall onto my body until I am buried. I want to be consumed by snow. This morning I dreamt I was lost in the desert and the only thing that kept me going were memories of home, memories of naps on cold afternoons or pad thai and red wine in my bed. Alone, your hollow bones will hibernate under snow. I felt the rush of ice jams breaking as you destroyed our friendship day by day. I felt you frail and shattered, you came to me for help. You said you couldn’t make it on your own anymore. And I’m bound to forget, but maybe I’ll forgive some. You’re nothing I regret, and everything I’ve always never wanted. And I’m bound to forget you made me feel so cold and numb. This song sleeps in the space behind your eyes. These words are bird claws. This woodpecker dawn. This building a bird nest. (The hurrying rush of melt-water.) This laying an egg and searching and eating the seed. This song in the bottom of a well on the new-moon-night of february. The crowded dawn of humans waking. This time stretches as we age. This life pushes into itself. Pulses and thrashes like trees in a blizzard. This song is bird music. This nest of words is a beautiful music. This frost of words collects on your front step. This egg of words. Delivered and waiting in a mailbox. This forest of words and fallen leaves & sleeping birds. Alone, your hollow bones will hibernate under snow. I felt the rush of river water, colder than dead, melting in march. I felt the push of sprouts breaking through dirt and freezing rain as spring returned.

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from Transient, released May 25, 2014

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shakusky. Amherst, Massachusetts

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